Sunday, January 30, 2011

Deep in Dreamland

I recently had a very intense dream, which was nice since lately all my dreams have been light and shadowy. Unfortunately, I lost some of the details in waking up and recording the dream. I still do remember the basic gist of the dream though. I had been walking through a field, singing. As I walked and sang though I was transported through places. It was not as if I was actually walking from place to place but as if they zoomed by me. Somehow this was all connected to my singing. At first, I was walking through the field, then a waterfall, an empty artist's studio, a still forest, a house at Christmas, an old soda fountain, etc. All these places I visited in the beginning were pleasant and happy and made me content. But as I went on they got worse. I reached places that were not particularly bad, yet the people and things there were not happy or satisfied. Lastly, I reached the places that were awful. People starving, kids crying, fights, death, war, and destruction were in these last places. The end of the dream seemed to go on and on forever, much longer than the happier portion of my dream journey. And when it seemed that I could not bear to go on, I did. I walked and walked and sang and sang. My voice was not light and strong anymore, it was hoarse and barely a whisper. My feet dragged. But I did not stop. I couldn't. There was something that stopped me from relenting and kept me going. And somehow I woke up much later. I do not know what caused me to wake up or how the dream ended except that I couldn't keep walking and singing in the dream. I literally could not, but something or someone forced me to go on.

What pieces of my dream might have meant.
walking--To dream that you are walking with ease, signifies a slow, but steady progress toward your goals. You are moving through life in a confident manner. Consider your destination.
To dream that you have difficulties walking, indicates that you are reluctant and hesitant in proceeding forward in some situation. You may also be trying to distance yourself from certain life experiences.  The difficulty in walking is a reflection of your current situation and the obstacles that you are experiencing.
singing--To sing in your dream, represents happiness, harmony and joy in some situation or relationship. You are uplifting others with your positive attitude and cheerful disposition. Singing is a way to celebrate, communicate, embrace and express your feelings.


interpretation bits from dreammoods.com

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Halfway Done!

I've had so much fun as a freshman at JC. Midterms are now over and we are starting semester 2 and quarter 3. In English class, we are still doing awesome stuff. We are finishing up reading A Midsummers Night's Dream and will soon start the book Into the Wild. I now am taking Intro to Drawing in school and it seems like it will be a super class. I've come to understand that midterms at JC are not hard if you manage your time and pay attention in class. Also, I find that I constantly enjoy classes that teach me life skills and make me feel like I am truly learning something important. these classes include English and AP Human Geography. I do not think that I have changed much as a person since the beginning of the year, but I have started to think more about my beliefs and test them against my morals. In this way I have learned more about myself and my identity.
I've also been reading a lot out of school. I read Sing Me to Sleep by Angela Morrison recently and loved it. It was even better than her other book Taken by Storm, which was very well written. I highly recommend this book, but beware that it is extremely sad. On the other hand I read Airhead and Being Nikki by Meg Cabot and I can't wait to grab the third book in the series, Runaway, from the library. Some readers brush Meg off as just being a chick lit writer and her books are often compared to such as that of the Gossip Girl series, but she should not be underestimated so. Her writing has substance and the plots are strong and good. Plus, her books are always funny and have very original ideas. One of the other books I read and recommend is Brightly Woven by Alexandra Bracken, which was a great fantasy book, though admittedly not all that memorable. It reminded me slightly of a toned down Kristin Cashore book. Next I think I'll read Salvaged by Stefne Miller.

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Anticlimax

In Paper Towns by John Green, Quentin lives under the radar—quietly being a bystander in his own life, that is when Margo Roth Spiegelman is not taking him on adventurous night escapades (which admittedly is not very often). Quentin is a cautious guy, even a little shy, but he is enamored of Margo, a fact that changes up his life in a multitude of ways, in retrospect and at the present. He begins to understand and explore the many disappointments of the real world and the truth of Margo as he searches for her.
            Quentin is what many think of as an average teenage boy, but there is much more to him than that. He is introverted and has many deep thoughts about important subjects that people pass over without a care. He does not take things for their appearance; he leans in for a closer look and can sometimes be analytical. Likewise, he has some less flattering traits yet, they are very much a part of him. He is often very anxious and scared, to a point beyond what many believe males should outwardly show. But in this way, he shows that he is not overly self-conscience and is extremely honest. And while he may be wary of trouble he is never afraid to speak his thoughts. At one point Margo, his neighbor says to her father, “‘I’m just trying to have a chat with Quentin. You’re always telling me what a fantastic influence he could be on me and everything’” (Green 27). This indicates that many adults think well of Quentin and his behavior. Later on Margo also comments that Quentin is “‘…a very anxious person…’” (32). Overall, Quentin is very thoughtful and honest. Also, he is always planning for the future and being cautious and thinking about the consequences of his actions.
            One day as children, Margo and Quentin decide to ride their bikes to the park. When they arrive they find an unmoving man slumped against a tree. “He was encircled by blood; a half-dried fountain of it poured out of his mouth. The mouth open in a way mouths generally shouldn’t be. Flies at rest on his pale forehead. ‘He’s dead.’ Margo said, as if I couldn’t tell.” (5). This scares them at first and they rush home to tell their parents and they give it some thought. But overall they do not really think of the dead man as ever being alive and so they stop thinking of him. After hurrying home, Margo comes to visit Quentin with her conclusion, “‘I think I maybe know why,’ she finally said. ‘Why?’ ‘Maybe all the strings inside of him broke…”(8).  At the time Margo was only seven, nonetheless her words about death would stay with Quentin for a long time. They would come back to haunt him again and again until he understood and they rang true.
            The second major event that changed Quentin forever was his late-night venture with Margo. They drive to their friends and enemies homes and they reveal the truth about these people. They take revenge or they thank the people depending upon the situation. They break and enter into many houses and buildings. These also include the Suntrust building, one of the tallest in the area. From there they take a few moments to relax and contemplate the town they live in, “‘You see how fake it all is. It’s not even hard enough to be made out of plastic. It’s a paper town…All the things paper-thin and paper-frail. And all the people too.’” (57-58). This was Margo’s reason for their journey that night. After making a few more stops they head home. When they are parting Quentin hints at getting together soon. Margo says, “‘I’m afraid it’s not possible,’ she whispered. She let go then, but kept looking at me, taking step after step backward.” (81). The next day Margo is missing, however she has left without telling her parents before so after a few days have passed , they have given up hope and decided against letting her come back into their home if she returns. Quentin, on the other hand, will not give up hope. He has been in love with Margo his whole life and is not about to let her go when he was closer than ever.
            Through Margo and Quentin’s nightly escapade Quentin became more confident. He starts to get that danger will find him sometimes and that he should not always worry, but live out his life because at some point he is going to die. Quentin looks back upon the death he and Margo witnessed as children and he makes his own comparison,
“‘…each of starts out as a watertight vessel. And these things happen—these people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get them and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack open in places. And I mean, yeah, once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable’” (302).  
He figures out that Margo was right about the city being fake and he realizes he must find something real and substantial for himself. When he understands that this could be Margo she is already gone. After his quest for her ends and he finds her, he must face the truth about her. For his whole life he dreamed about her, but truly she was just another person. When he finds this out he gets that while she had a great personality, she is not very different than anyone else. He understands that Margo had to leave to get away from it all and Quentin comes to know that leaving is okay.  Furthermore he knows that they are both headed in different directions—him to college and Margo on her own quest. He wants to be with her, but Quentin recognizes that they have to do what they need for themselves first.
           
            Quentin and Margo do not want to part ways, but for their own dreams they must. Quentin and the reader learn that life isn’t fair in this way. He discovers that leaving is not always a bad thing. Moreover he must live in the moment for bad times and eventually death will come. John Green weaves a wonderful tale of drawbacks and frustrations that are looked upon with prevailing hope in Paper Towns.